Sugar-x Blog

I'm an addicted gambler, there i said it happy now? no thought not.... thing is i have an addictive personality i guess so i just get sucked into the whirl and buzz of these things that go on around me. My main addiction is poker, what a surprise eh?

Poker is a game not only of luck but also skill, you need to know when to make the right calls, raises, re-raises and folds - to most of you this is probably all double dutch but bare with me. Poker players are always ''the best poker players in the world'' everyone has their own opinion on whether or not you played the hand right or should have played it differently...you know what? if i win the pot i don't care how i played it - and that's the truth and i think the same applies to most poker players - and if any of them say it don't then they are lying!!

Win or lose though i am addicted, i love observing and watching how people play hands, what type of hands they play and maybe little tells. Whatever it is about poker though it certainly has my backing for a hell of a lot of people all over the world. These websites take fortunes, the casino cardrooms and cardrooms on their own rake it in - so can these millions of people be wrong? I think like any addiction it is a hard habit to break!

So how do i go around this addiction?...well i play of course i figured as long as i'm not hurting anyone or getting into debt to play then what is the harm? after all i have more chance of winning at poker then i do at playing against the house in casino's!

Being female also has it's advantages at the poker table - a few i'm sure i don't have to tell you! Poker being mainly a male dominated sport if you could call it a sport has the occassional wee lass such as myself. I feel that more women should learn how to play! I mean come on! it's only in out nature that we are naturally minipulative so hey ho you know where it's going...but come on ladies get playing because it really is nice seeing another girl at the table - i don't feel so outnumbered then!

win, lose or draw we all play for the same thing.....our love of the game - i guess old habits really do die hard

Well after being in gorgeous sunny Malia (crete) a few weeks back i'm happy to say that England's weather still sucks! What is it with this country and the rain? It gives us nice sunny weather at scorching temperatures for a few days a week then decides to piss on our parade quite literally and pour down.

I've never really felt like England was my home, it's not the kind of place that i wish to settle down in i know that for sure - i wish i could pack all the people i cared about and take them with me to a country with better weather...ah the grass is always greener.

I have to say Malia was a great holiday although i didn't seem to see anyone over the age of 21 out there and it is sickening to say it i was old out there, although god bless i have a baby face i think i pulled off being 21 quite well. Still being an english based resort i have to say i felt like i had just transported the whole of London out to a sunny greek island and put an age restriction on the entry. Brits on holiday never fail to surprise me, all we seem to do is get pissed and party every night - which isn't a bad thing except the next day when you find that there are photo's of you tagged all over facebook and you don't remember one of them being taken....

One thing that did amaze me was the way the touts were desperate to get you in their bars - the guys come chat you up and literally drag you into their bars, they chuck you in there and then their off like a flash - i really don't want a shot at 11am in the morning mate nor do i wish for you to take my hand and run me up to the bar on the beach - i have my own legs and my own mind if i wish to go into your bar i will do so of my own accord...and then they look shocked that as soon as they leave us in this bar we turn round and walk out.

I just couldn't see them getting away with that kind of behaviour in England but i could see a couple of fights coming from it. There was one big fight outside one of the clubs out there and to my disgust the door staff had jumped in and was kicking this guy in the head and the rest of his body on the floor - there is no need for it - these guys are supposed to be protecting you and yet they are standing their joining in the fights - one guys had blood pouring from his head it actually made me sick to the stomach to see it. Why do people fight on holiday? i just don't get it, you're there to have a good time not to spend your time fighting with others. *sigh* maybe i'm just old fashioned anyway rant over let's hope this sun comes out again soon x

I'm sorry for my absence and abandonment of my blog! My month has been hectic!
What with exams, revision, work and everyday life it's been a nightmare trying to find the time to actually blog.

I had my exams early this month and late last month and oh my god what a nightmare! Apart from the fact i actually revised till my eyes bled i got into the exam room and my mind drew a blank! can't believe i was sitting in the room - sun was shining and i was trying to think of a way to blag my way through law - yes really, i don't think it's one of those subjects you can actually blag - so i think i right royally cocked up in these ones - thank god for resits!

So i'm looking forward to partying away in Malia next week with the sun blazing down and frying my skin to a lovely golden honey colour and having no worries in the world apart from what book to read on the beach note to oneself *remember to reapply sun cream after getting out the water*

A few years ago i went to spain with my friend - it was a scorching 40 degrees in the middle of august and i'd been in and out of the water. I settled into a good book laying on my stomach and didn't move for over an hour - i started to get a bit hot so jumped back in the water when i came out the whole of my back and the backs of my legs were red raw! i swear i could not sit down for about 3 days - that was the most painful burn i've ever had in my life and all because i didn't reapply my cream! I had my mate dabbing cold milk all over me - it draws out the heat - must say though i did go very brown when it died down.

I have to say sometimes when i'm abroad i actually feel embarrassed to be english, the english can give us a bad name when we're abroad what with our outrageous partying and drinking its not hard to pick out the brits from everyone else. We really do some cringe worthy stuff when we're abroad. Don't get me wrong i'm not saying we don't have fun cause we certainly do there is just some sights i see that makes me cringe and go 'oh lord, why did they just do that?' ahhhh alcohol talks!

I have a big thing about flying...i absolutely hate it!
From the moment i step foot on a plane everything changes, i'm literally glued to my seat. I always feel really ill through the duration of the flight and my eyes are permanantly fixed on the air hostesses/hosts my friends always ask me why i watch them so much and i always say ''i figured if they start to panic then i know we have too''

So anyway the sun has finally decided to show it's face here - only been waiting all week to get out and start a base tan ready for next week but my garden seems to have grown into a forest and i'm still waiting for the landlord to come and cut it! I don't fancy lying there amongst the bees and bugs.

Well this has been fun..sorry if i bored you all right now though nothing inspires me! i suppose its blogger's block but hey i started writing again so hopefully things will get better. ciao for now x

What is it about bad boys that makes them so attractive?
I'll tell you my point...
With a bad boy you are always guaranteed a turbulant time. The best thing about getting with a bad boy is trying to tame them. Bad boys are the kind of guys that you know you should not like but you really can't help it.

Good guys are great don't get me wrong, they will do anything for you and drop whatever they are doing to come see you. But the mushy crap? oh purleaseeee
I don't need wooing - i dont need flowers to cheer me up - yes their pretty but they die after a few days.
I don't need people opening doors for me - i have my own hands i can do that myself
I don't need a guy to cook and clean for me - see above
Yes they are lovely but they don't need to prove it to me, i am very independant and i like doing my own thing.

Bad boys are exciting - something about their wild ways and nature draws me in, maybe its the challenge i don't know but it's always fun to try finding the nice guy in him - even if its only once every few months that he says or does something that you're not expecting.
Bad boys don't have to be criminals, nor do they have to treat you like complete and utter shit - because i won't stand for that. Bad boys seem to whisk you off your feet and make your life seem like its caught up in the fast forward button - never know whats gonna happen next.

I love the spontaneity of a bad boy - last minute plans are always the best.

Good guys care, love and shower you with gifts - yes it's lovely and yes it's meaningful and yes they know what they want. No it's not bad but can you have a decent argument with a good guy? no cause they back down and let you win.... well 9 times out of 10 they do.

I love a good argument - or debate either/or. I need a man to stand up to me and put me in my place while also listening to my side and me putting them back in their place too - confused yet? lol

Take Robbie Williams for instance - Typical bad boy, rugged good looks and loves to party - yet women all over the world love him. You know he's not the best guy in the world but i can guarantee most women wouldn't say no!

The challenge of getting a bad boy to show that under all that thick skin there is a heart is what makes me come back...
Give me a bad boy anyday

Well i could tell you that my nemesis is Ace Jack in poker but then this isn't what this blog is about. No the nemesis i am talking about is my ex. We split up around 7 years ago due to him wanting to do things and wanting different things to me. As a heartbroken 17/18 year old you'd think this would be the end of it. Think again.

I've never known anyone quite like him, good looking, funny, always knows the right thing to say and unfortunately tends to find me where ever i am. I always seem to bump into him and he always seems to find a way of me agreeing to go for a drink or coffee with him. I really don't understand what it is about me that keeps him coming back for more and no way will he answer that question. He seems to love arguing with me which he finds incredibly amusing.. note i do not think its funny in the slightest!

i spoke to him today as he managed to get my number and he seems to think i am his ''hancock'' for those of you that have seen the film you will know what this means. Hancock is a superhero who is drawn to his partner that he was born with - when they are away from each other they are strong but when they are together they lose their powers. They are always drawn to each other. He tells me over and over that we'll end up together, not in a stalker freaky way but more in a cocky arrogant way. No matter what though i can't seem to hate him. Call me weak or wierd whatever you choose, but this guy knows me so well. He knows what makes me tick, what gets me mad and what to say when i'm not backing down. He turns up at the most awkward times and places and finds it amusing that this annoys me. lol i have to laugh cause give him his dues he keeps me on my toes.

He tells me he regrets leaving me and knows things would be different if i'd have him back. So i take him back to rip my heart out all over again? i think not.. people have commented on the way we are around each other. One person described it like ''It's as if someone has put a big box of electricity in the room and it opens when you two meet'' It's a love hate thing.. really looking at it it's like a movie. kinda guy gets girl, gives up girl then wants her back.

After 7 years you'd think i could just block him out completely, but i can't. I don't know what it is but i guess i like the thought that he was wrong to end it and he's still trying after all these years. I don't understand men and i guess i never will but one thing i do know is he's never gonna give up. Don't get me wrong it's not like he's keeping himself solely for me, it's just that i know he would drop any girl he was with if i just said the word - which is so morally wrong and awful.

So i kinda have admitted defeat now, i just won't give in to his advances but i've come to accept that he will never give up. Maybe he should have thought about it before he tried just walking back in my life but as he says ''it's never a good time'' pffft men!

I have been told that i am easy to fall in love with. Not the sort of comment you get every day i'm guessing i have one of those personalities. I'm gonna tell you a little about myself in this post so i am gonna open up a bit. I was always a very shy person when i was younger, so shy that i used to hide behind my mum at all times. Luckily i went dancing and singing and i bought me out of my shell and made me the person i am today
I get along with everyone that i meet, i don't pre judge and i don't bitch at people. However, i am extremely honest and very blunt. If i don't like something i will tell you - you will always know where you stand with me. Happy go lucky smiler is one of my many nicknames but i'd like to think of myself of more of a fun loving gal who likes a laugh and to be near my good friends.
Never one to mince my words and has got me in trouble a hell of a lot! ambitious and driven - this is starting to sound like a horrorscope lol! Great believer in fate - things happen for a reason.
Being a cheeky, confident girlie i normally go to any length to get what i want - love a challenge and the harder it is to obtain the better! also a bit of a hustler - like to gamble and have bets with people - watch out! proposition bets are my forte lol

I love the feeling of being in love...probably the best feeling in the world - nothing better then wanting to see someone so much and feeling so happy when you do. Always the optimistic the glass is half full and when it is get me a top up! Very spontaneous.... and thats pretty much Sugar in a nutshell

Following on from a couple of my blogs just a little story for you all from last night at work. *sighs* another casino story....
In the casino iy work in we have a V.I.P room - not really for V.I.P's more so for the high rollers. I was dealing a game of blackjack last night to a young guy who is a regular, here's what made me laugh...
along with the normal banter and flirting that comes with the job these people don't actually know anything about me and vice versa. It came to my break and my boyfriend took me off the table. Apparantly the young guy turns to the table and says ''that girl is soooo fit she is really pretty...'' well my boyfriend cut him off saying ''thanks mate that's my girlfriend'' lol to say he wanted the hole in the ground to open up and swallow him was probably an understatement. Made me laugh though - the good thing is i know my boyfriend could have gone the other way and got a little hacked off with it, thank god that's not his nature and that he took it as a compliment!

Following on from my dreams and goals blog it really does show that we are a nation that is obssessed by looks. For all this guy knew i could have been a serial killer! Not saying the compliment wasn't welcomed because it's always nice to recieve them even if it wasn't directly to me.
I have to say though one of my pet peeves is when i'm out in the club with the girls' minding my own business and a guy comes up and grabs my arse - it really does make my blood boil - what gives him the right to do that? and to be fair i'm not one of these girls that will giggle and take that sort of action off a guy, i do have to say something to them. Whatver happened to the good old fashioned ''hello, my name is..'' it just seemed to have died a death! I am more likely to talk to a guy if he did this rather then just grab me like i am some bit of meat. I can't think of any girl that does actually like a guy grabbing her in a club like this and if she does maybe a little self respect is needed. However, it is like one vicious circle and unfortunately i think no matter what it will always be this way.
Well that's my little rant over and a blog for you all to read as a few people asked why i haven't blogged lately and to be honest i run out of material!

I don't know if any of you saw it but i was watching Britains got talent last night and i have to say my heart goes out to Susan Boyle who was the glasweigen lady that sang i dreamed a dream from les mis...
It just goes to show you what a horrible judging nation we really are, when she stepped on that stage and said she wanted to sing people were already turning their noses up at her and pulling faces. This really pisses me off when people do this - who are we to shoot someone down before they have even been given a chance? Bless her though as soon as she opened her mouth to sing and a gorgeous voice came out they all shut up and the judges jaws dropped. what a voice....
I'm glad that she sang the way she did though because it just goes to show that you never know who has got that little bit of hidden talent there. I really hope she makes it to the final i think she deserves it. As a nation i think we all need to stop stereotyping and actually give people chances - i myself am guilty of it also.
Good luck Susan - i hope she gives a lot of women confidence to come forward now, a role model for all women out there. Well done Susan you proved them all wrong.

As many of you know i can hardly ever get to sleep when i need to. No matter how much i want to or try sometimes i just lay there at night awake which sucks! Anyway when i do finally get to sleep i sleep for hours and then feel tired for the next couple of hours after a wake. My problem is 'the snooze button' whoever invented it needs shooting!
That extra five minutes for me turns into an hour! so i normally end up late for any appointments that i may have made all due to that damn snooze button. Now i know there are quite a few gadgety alarm clocks out now including the 'clocky' which is on wheels - when your alarm goes off it jumps off of the side that it's resting on and keeps going off while whizzing around the bedroom, the only way to turn it off is to catch the darn thing. Although i know it'd wake me up i know i'd catch it and crawl back into bed.
So i came up with a little solution on how to avoid this little problem and i decided that on top of my alarm clock i am going to sit a mouse trap..... can you see the genius? i'd like to see me try to snooze with a mouse trap attached to the end of my hand....can work and will work although i'm not looking forward to the pain i'm gonna get - but hey if it gets me out of bed and on time to appointments etc. then a little bit of pain will be worth it lol

I've often wondered if we have guardian angels...would be nice to think that there is someone up there watching over us or even someone protecting us at all times. I love the unknown, it absolutely fascinates me! I have had some experiences that cannot be explained and also that have no logical explaination whatsoever.
There was a time when i was really sick and had been in bed all day, i was alone in my house and i decided to go downstairs and get myself a drink. On the back of the sofa neatly folded were some bedsheets ready to go upstairs in their rightful place, i walked into the kitchen and heard something land on the floor behind me. As i turned round the bedsheets were on the floor - now they weren't just on the floor as if they had dropped off the sofa they were right across the other side of the room! A little freaked out i let the dog in to sit with me while every light in the house was now on. The same thing happened the next night but this time my incle witnessed the sheets flying off the back of the sofa - we were so scared we run out the house!
I always sense things like someone watching me or occassionally feel a pressure on my bed as if someone is sitting on it - i never feel scared at these things just a overwhelming sense of calmness and serenity.
So how do we explain these things? i think we'd be ignorant to think that there was no life after death or even that we were the only forms of life form in the universe.. At one point it got so bad with me sensing things or strange things happening i actually went to a medium and asked them to make it stop, he told me i was very sensitive to things and that they knew i could sense them. This was on a cold winters day and it was freezing! As i was talking to him the whole of my back heated up as if someone has lit a fire behind me - he asked me if i felt a warmth behind me and i just stood open mouthed and nodded.
He sad the warmth i felt was a lady who turned out to be one of my relations once he told me everything about her, he said she watches over me and sits on my bed at night sometimes, he also said she bought a male figure with her at times - he was her husband, he said these two people were like my guardian angels.
I like to think they watch over me and protect me but i can never be sure. Maybe its just what i want to feel or maybe they really do exist. I guess i'll never know....